


one

by likebrightness



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s02e09, F/F, POV Maggie Sawyer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 18:49:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9455744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likebrightness/pseuds/likebrightness
Summary: She feels ridiculous about so much. About calling in sick to work yesterday and about going to the DEO just because Alex wasn’t answering all morning— really, Sawyer, you can’t spend four hours without hearing from her? Not that she’s going to hear from her now. Probably never again, unless it’s about work.





	

Maggie goes back to work.

Maggie wants to go to the bar, but it’s the middle of the day and she took her lunch hour to go check on Alex, so she grabs a really depressing turkey sandwich from Subway and eats it at her desk.

She feels ridiculous.

She feels ridiculous about so much. About calling in sick to work yesterday and about going to the DEO just because Alex wasn’t answering all morning— really, Sawyer, you can’t spend four hours without hearing from her? Not that she’s going to hear from her now. Probably never again, unless it’s about work.

She feels ridiculous about kissing Alex, that night in her apartment. About going to her apartment in the first place. She should have stuck with her gut instinct. She always trusts her gut; that’s what got her out of Nebraska, what got her out of a squad car and into the ranks of the detectives. And she went against it for some girl, some girl who threw her away at the first sign of trouble.

Her throat feels tight, like she didn’t chew enough before she swallowed, and she really wishes she had a beer to throw back, but she makes due with her bottle of water.

It wasn’t even trouble with them, either. That Maggie could understand, because she’s been afraid she was going to mess this thing up before they ever started, but she _didn’t_. She did _nothing_ , and still.

It’s not fucking fair.

She focuses on paperwork, and keeps swallowing because she still feels like there’s something caught in her throat.

-

She doesn’t focus on paperwork, not really. Anytime she takes a coffee break or stretches or just lets her pencil stop moving for a second, she thinks about Alex. She thinks about Alex, overreacting and wrong and Maggie still doesn’t understand why. Supergirl is missing but that doesn’t explain anything. Maggie wants to be there and hold Alex and listen and understand. Maggie wants the chance that Alex didn’t give them. Alex was so happy to be happy, but she couldn’t even hang on through the first bump in the road. 

Maggie wants to go back and explain to Alex that whatever’s happening, it will be okay and they’ll get through it together. But she shouldn’t have to. She shouldn’t have to go back and grovel when she did nothing wrong. But she wants to take care of Alex, and she knows Alex isn’t taking care of herself right now, and holy shit, Kara is Supergirl. 

It’s the only thing that makes sense.

The way Alex talks about Kara, the pressure she’s always felt to be the perfect sister. How she and Supergirl have such a rapport. The fact that Kara was investigating missing persons.

It’s not like Maggie hasn’t considered it before. She always thought Supergirl and Kara looked a lot alike. It was just—

When Maggie first met Alex, she did think, for a second, that Alex might be into girls. Alex was pretty and intriguing and maybe flirting. But Maggie told herself no. She told herself her brain knew better than her heart, and wishful thinking never made anyone queer, and so she gave up on the idea. She did the same with Kara being Supergirl, because the first time she thought it was in a moment of pure jealousy at a crime scene.

She and Alex were working on being friends again, but still Alex didn’t look at her like she used to. Alex was quiet and reserved and closed off with Maggie. And then Supergirl showed up, and she and Alex bent their heads together and whispered and giggled and Maggie’s chest burned. Supergirl had given Maggie a smile that wasn’t a smile at all, and that’s when Maggie thought—Kara? But it was ridiculous. Maggie was jealous and whiny and wanted to see a familial relationship so she didn’t have to think about any other woman making Alex laugh.

Except she was right, apparently.

She’s really got to start listening to her instincts again.

-

She tries to keep doing paperwork. She wishes someone would kill someone so she had something to distract her, and then immediately feels bad for thinking that. It’s quiet, is all, and her mind can’t help but wander. She can’t believe she talked herself out of thinking Kara was Supergirl. She can’t believe the entire city doesn’t know, just the glasses to throw them off. She can’t believe Alex lied to her, this whole time.

Except—of course she can. Alex would do anything to protect Kara. And the fewer people who know her identity, the better.

Maggie knows she’s making Alex’s excuses for her. They’re good excuses, sure, but they don’t matter unless Alex figures them out for herself. Maggie can’t forgive her if she doesn’t apologize, can’t let everything be okay when Alex _dumped her_ the first moment her life wasn’t perfect. Maggie feels like her throat is closing in every time she thinks about it. She’s supposed to be the one who knows better. She’s supposed to be the mature one, the level-headed one. But every time she thinks about Alex’s face, dismissing her, she just wants to cry.

-

Her phone buzzes three times with a text, and she knows it’s Alex because it’s been a week but she’s already set up a stupid custom vibration for her. 

She doesn’t look at it.

It’s almost nine o’clock, and she’s been stewing for hours. But her phone buzzes again and what if Supergirl is still missing? What if Alex needs help finding her? Maggie isn’t about to let Alex lose her sister, no matter how much Alex hurt her.

 **Alex [8:49 PM]**  
We found Supergirl. And I’m home and want to apologize to you in person. If you’re willing to hear it.

 **Alex [8:50 PM]**  
It doesn’t have to be here. I can come over or we can meet at the bar or anywhere. If you want.

Maggie swallows. She wants to make Alex wait. Alex made her wait all day, threw her aside and confirmed all of the reasons Maggie didn’t think they should be together in the first place. Experience tells her not to reply. Experience tells her Alex will hurt her. Experience tells her she was right when she rejected Alex at first, she was right that Alex wasn’t ready. Experience tells her not to go over.

But her gut tells her to go, and so she goes.

 

 

 

 


End file.
